Thursday, August 21, 2008

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. By Melanie Moss.

Since when did swimwear get so flimsy? 

Remember the days when a bikini was for flaunting and a one piece was for eating lunch. 

It seems the impossible has happened and all of a sudden the bikini is for good and bad days and the one piece well that’s fallen into the realms of a lucky few. 

I’m not talking about your safe black halterneck low cut togs from Target, I’m talking about the Cutout. A pair of swimmers so daring that you have to be a cardboard cutout just to wear them! Slit to the belly button and sucked in at the sides, the new swimwear is looking more and more like Borat everyday - just add requisite chest hair. 

With no where to run to baby, no where to hide, it made me realise just how forgiving the humble bikini could be. Worn correctly they are designed to accentuate curvy hips and as long as you are flat out like a lizard sunbaking are quite flattering to a tummy even with a little excess baggage. 

Now its all about excess all areas with your attention drawn directly where you least need it. While the bikini draws our eye up towards the décolletage - helped along with a little Model Co shimmer spray and or tanning glove, the new cutout drags us due south to hips, thighs and buttocks and not in a Cindy Crawford workout way. 

Don’t be fooled by the fashion packs conviction that not only is the cutout this seasons answer to looking fabulous by the pool or that apparently body suits are back and why not save on buying both by wearing your cutout with or without a pair of pants. Would that be high waisted skinny leg jeans perhaps? Come on be serious people! Would any of you really be caught dead wearing a body suit and jeans Christmas Day? Matching bonbon hat anybody? Remember if you wore it the first time and I did with bells on, it’s a definite no the second. 

So where does one go if they don’t want to shop in the maternity section at Target or pour themselves and a years worth of Cadbury’s fudge brownie chocolate into a cutout one piece? I always take my clients to David Jones for swimwear. The change rooms are roomy and private! Nothing worse than a store that forces you to slink out to check yourself in the communal mirror is there! They carry a fabulous selection, we love Jets by Jessika Allen and yes she does do a fancy white cutout for those of you brave enough to try it. Lisa Ho is the pick of the season with divine navy halterneck togs with plenty of detail to draw the eye up. Fantastic price too! Why pay double for half the fabric I say! Match back with a crisp white pair of shorts and jeweled thongs for a permissible look at the Christmas table. 

For those of us looking down the baby belly gauntlet (or simply intend to eat enough turkey to inspire one) can try Baybeecino for their fabulous maternity suit by Madison Rose. A great piece in basic black, perfect for chasing the kids around a family friendly resort in Fiji. 

It is easy to be sucked in by fashion especially when it looks so tempting aka model lying beside Bondi Icebergs, cocktail in hand, poured rake thin into drainpipe jeans and a swimsuit I wouldn’t be surprised to see Kath or Kim giving a good hard go in a few months time but its always good to take a step back and remember what the first day of swimsuit season is really like. Doubtless you are a pale (literally) imitation of said model………………………..

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